Book Review: The UnValentine

The Un Valentine
THE ENTERTAINMENT CRITIC BOOK REVIEW, BY JAMES MYERS
www.theentertainmentcritic.com
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THE UN VALENTINE
By Sam Beeson
Illustrated by Jesse Draper
Published by Shadow Mountain
Publication Date: January, 2008
Price: $12.95
320 Pages
ISBN: 978-1-59038-843-3
Four Star Rating ****
AUTHOR IS A TEACHER AT AMERICAN FORK HIGH SCHOOL
HE TEACHES CREATIVE WRITING, SHAKESPEARE AND ENGLISH
THE ILLUSTRATOR IS A STUDENT AND A CLASSICALLY TRAINED ARTIST WHO STUDIED RUSSIAN ICONS

“Exactly midway through the month of February
A day is celebrated by the dull and ordinary.
And all around me
Notes are passed by idiots and stupids-
Packed with
Sugar-motted hearts and naked, pudgy cupids
This ritual conducted under
Heart-shaped, crimson flag,
Does absolutely nothing for me,
but to make me gag!”


Every once in a very great while, I’ll read a book that takes me totally and completely by surprise. Something that is so new, fresh, and original that it stands out; way, way out from the crowd. The Un Valentine written by school teacher Sam Beeson and beautifully illustrated by BYU student Jesse Draper is such a book. Lilly, a 9 year girl hates Valentines Day. Cynically, she writes in her journal that she hates love, hated the notes and most of hates being “Valentined.” She hates everything about Valentines, and to be in the middle of her giddy, cupid-stupid classmates is just torture… until she find a crumpled up piece of paper under her desk from a male classmate, Ray, who hates V-Day almost as much as she does. The epiphany that follows is precious. Like minded people finding quirky love like this should be rewarded. This short, little book is great fun. Written in couplets and illustrated in a gothic style, complete with large gold-leaf picture frames on every page, this book has the look and feel of a quirky, strange, modern day romance. You get the feel of going through a baroque art museum paging through the book, which seems to work well with the dark, cynical feelings of its main characters. The book is designed for the “emo” kids that feel sick at all the pink, lovey-dovey of V-day, and seems to be written for “everyone who thinks Valentine’s Day is a pain in the butt.”, says Sam Beeson, the author. Nonetheless, the Goth kids still find love in the end. The book even comes with special un-valentines cards in the back featuring Draper’s art work and cynical lines from Beeson like, “When I want a box of chocolates, I buy it... Then I eat it. All of it.” This is by far and away, the best, funniest, most unusual, Un Valentine’s book that I have ever read. It is destined to become a Valentine’s Day Hallmark animated movie, and maybe a whole new line of cards. The cynical and sour private thoughts of this 9 year old girl will put a smile on your face and a song in your heart. Traditionally twisted, this charming little book shows, “love and romance doesn’t have to look a certain way; it comes in many forms, and often when least expected.” About to become an Un Classic, get in on the ground floor to avoid the crowds. Cue the Stones and the “Paint It Black” music, then make your way to the nearest book store and Un buy one right away.